I haven’t written in or posted in over 40 days. That’s four missed open journal entries after months straight of consistent uploads.

You might be thinking, “What happened?”

Straight answer is; I got busy living my life so that I have some new shit to write about baby! 

If you have been a reader for a while now, (thank you and I appreciate you) you’d probably recall reading in an entry or two about how all of my open journal entries were written almost a year ago now and that I had been saving and scheduling them.

Well, I stopped sharing the rest that I had ready to go. Before I would post an entry I had pre-written, I kept feeling so far removed from the woman who wrote them it just didn’t feel honest for the now. 

There’s still some really good entries in there that I will eventually share, however I just feel like this new chapter I have entered just feels so much more fun, lively and overall positive and playful and I believe that this new perspective will be more beneficial for my lovely readers. (<3)

Ultimately, I want my content to reflect how I am as of today and  if I’m keeping it real, the past month I have totally gone-in on living my best life. Learning a lot about people, friendships, relationships, work and career, money, motherhood, divorce, self love, spirituality, etc. 

It has been simultaneously challenging and incredible and I feel like now I am ready to get back into creating and contributing through the best medium I know how, which is writing. 

Post my separation in November last year, a lot has happened which in turn, has taught me a lot. 

There are so many things I am ready to share and teach here. I have been reading many books about human psychology, spirituality, money, investing, law of attraction, neuro-linguistic programming, seduction, manifestation, and more and since I have been applying the things I’ve been learning to myself — my life has completely changed (and rapidly).

Perhaps this is another Water-Shed in itself? 

If I close my eyes and try to imagine being the woman I was just 12 months ago, I feel like a totally new person. Ultimately because I am. (She) would not recognise this evolved version of me at all and that’s what keeps me so excited about waking up every day. Who will I be another 12 months from now? So much can happen just in one day let alone one entire year. 

Getting over the fear of being seen has been a huge contributor to my personal growth and to my self confidence. (I’m going to help you overcome this too as my entries become more specific.) 

I’ve come to truly accept that this is my life, and that the little things I used to sweat over really do.not.matter. I don’t care if someone decides I’m not for them because I am for me. The people I meet that come and go from my life are there for a reason no matter the lesson learned.

The law of detachment has taught me that I can’t hold onto people in hopes of controlling how they treat me or whether or not they leave or change at all, but rather I now allow myself to experience them exactly how they are when I meet them. I’m not interested in controlling outcomes or worrying about how things will turn out down the road, I’m purely focused on enjoying the now and I believe I am exactly where I am meant to be, just like you are. 

Just recently I was out in the city in a club and I had bumped into a mutual friend I hadn’t seen since January. After a couple of hours dancing and drinking and catching up, having fun, he acknowledged that the woman standing before him was a completely different woman he had first met just a few months ago. 

The last time he saw me, I was sitting down with our mutual friend on the wet, cold concrete outside of a city skyscraper crying about how abrupt and sudden my life had completely flipped upside down and nothing was in my control.
But now he was seeing a woman totally alive, dancing her way through people, laughing, making playful jokes, confident and totally comfortable in embracing her flirtatious femininity.

And when he took the time to comment on how much I have changed, it forced me to self reflect and ultimately realize I have indeed come so far so soon and I felt like it was time for me to share with you how I did it. 

So, I hope you can remain with me on this watershed journey and see more growth and evolution through my art and how I choose to show up in the world in my rightful place, and I hope that if you are also looking for change in yourself, I can perhaps be of service to you on your own self growth journey.

Most Ardently, 
Chenise Sinclaire.