KILL THEM OFF

Chenise Sinclair photographed by Celeste Shiels

I saw a TikTok video a couple of weeks ago (stay with me) of a short clip from The Drew Barrymore show where she had Jennette McCurdy on as her guest where she said something that hit me like a tow truck.

In 2022, Jennette McCurdy published a memoir called “I’m Glad My Mom Died”. 
The title shocked me too. 
I haven’t read her book (yet), but I do know what it is about and for those that are interested, I encourage you to purchase it to see what it’s all about for yourself and of course, support an author. 
However, this entry isn’t about her book, it’s about what she said on The Drew Barrymore Show about writing that stuck with me.

Drew asked Jannette, “Does someone have to die in order to be able for us to tell our truths?” and Jannette replied, “I think we at least have to write as if they have died, which is that old saying, right? Like, write as if everyone you know is dead.”

Drew said that she had never heard that one before — and neither had I — yet it made complete sense to me as a fellow writer myself.

“Write as if everyone you know is dead.” — Joe Lansdale.

It sounds morbid at face value, and maybe even crazy to people who aren’t writers themselves. But what he means is; if you’re too busy thinking about how your friends, colleagues, family, or even strangers will react to your story or even the specific words you choose to write, you’re not really writing your story. You’re writing a version you think will be better, or dare I say; safer.

I believe it can be applied to all creatives in whatever expression of art they choose to tell their story. Mine happens to be writing which is why this particular quote hit me as deeply as it did. Yours may be drawing, painting, acting, singing, becoming an influencer — whatever it is, do it as if everyone you know is dead.

The real culprit is fear.

Fear of what those people may think, or say, or feel about our work, our art, or us.

Imagine the pure freedom of expressing yourself without worrying about someone shutting you down for doing so.

Kill off — metaphorically obviously — your ‘audience.’ Just imagine being able to write, sing, play, create and be without this audience feedback or the fear of a negative review or a nasty comment on your video. How free would you feel? Think about how much happier you will be when you decide, “I’m going to show up in the world. I have a right to be who I am and express myself how I please.” 

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

- Theodore Roosevelt

I sure as hell don’t want to go through my life sitting on the side lines, watching those brave enough in the arena. 
I want to be in the arena. And I know you do too.

What’s stopping you from chasing your dreams? Who needs to die in your audience in order for you to tell your story?

The hardest part is showing up.

Let’s kill off our imaginary audiences and I hope you join me in the arena.

All my love,
Chenise Sinclaire.